Well, I feel the distinct need and no little pressure to contribute to this… forum, since it does involve my wife and unborn child. If for no other reason than to add reason to it and hopefully curb the enthusiasm with which money is being spent and bets placed upon the outcome of the birth. As most of you know I am not the strongest advocate for technology, at least along the lines of television and internet, but I do find myself acknowledging a great benefit from this “blogging” effort; I can write, poorly though it is, and walk away (I see Katie cringing as she reads this). I suppose there needs to be a point to all this rambling though and for me it is to put out another experience in the millions of experiences already out there, in the hope that somewhere along the way it will give comfort and maybe a little reassurance to another father to be. I have no doubt, however, that unintended as it may be, this will give a great laugh to any past fathers who take the time to read it.

Enough of that, onto the subject of our child, or “baby” as KT requires me to call it for apparently “it” is ok but “child” is just too technical or clinical. Despite what may appear at times to be disinterest or lack of enthusiasm at best, I am very excited and more than a little nervous when I take the time to think about coming changes. It is during these times of reflection, especially while away, that I have been reminded of two things: one, what a blessing having a practical and resourceful wife is and two, how different my wife and I are.

As to the first, KT has, as always surprised me with how tough she is and how lucky I am. When we first found out that she was pregnant I received many condolences from my “friends”, saying things like, “it was really nice to know you” and “hope we can still hang out after this is over”. Worst of all were the ones who offered congratulations all the while looking at me as if I were a calf being fattened up and just did not know it. Well, so far my beautiful wife, whom I can only assume the comments were directed toward, has been nothing less than wonderful. While away, she shouldered work, all of her responsibilities and mine as well and still managed to show concern for me and how I was doing. In fact I do not imagine I heard even one complaint the whole time I was gone. Suffice to say the stories about my demise at the hands of an angry or semi-combative wife were grossly exaggerated.

My second revelation so to speak is the differences in concerns between KT and I and I would assume in general between husband and wife. While KT decides what colors and designs need to go into a nursery and whether or not we need a crib with a drop down side or adjustable mattress height (I believe they now even have a motorized model with sunroof), my mind is hundreds of miles away and about 18 years down the road. My concerns are money for college, a car, and general survival, not in any particular order. These thoughts in turn lead to cold sweats and night terrors of being chased around by huge dollar bills, which in turn causes lack of sleep, and that in turn, worries about keeping my job which I now take 2 hour “nap” breaks from…

I believe at this juncture that I have moved slightly away from my goal of comforting and reassuring other future fathers. In an attempt to get back on track, what usually entails after these thoughts assault me is I take a few deep breaths (I am sure now that lamaze is for both men and women) and remember that none of it is in my hands and that sooner than I think there will be a very small being that has a spark of life and my last name, both thoughts that make me pause and smile.